What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What! how could you do that?

How do atheists explain the fact that when I pray to God, I feel better and I get a feeling of comfort? Doesn’t this prove that a God exists?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

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Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

True - how I loved my mum!

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She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Is Matt Gaetz qualified to be Attorney General of the United States?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What do you mean son?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

When are the gas prices supposed to go up? Just asking because I was told by "educated" liberals that they were going to go throught the roof, but all I see are prices going down, especially in my home state of Ohio!!!

Do you know what she said mum?